Tuesday, 27 December 2011

Italic Xmas micro fiction

Micro-fiction as tweeted on Christmas Day 2011.

Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house was a thickening layer of carbon monoxide.

Christmas was cancelled because Santa's contract didn't require him to cross a picket... (by @guygarrud

Santa slumped against the Christmas tree, presentless and sodden in port.

God turned to Jesus and said; "they're doing it again! I thought I told you to put a stop to all this?" (by @lonlonranch

Meteor. It was a chuffing meteor. The war-painted Wise Man unloaded his uzi at the inn windows.

Granny pulled a cracker that exploded with such force she was blown back into the chimney where Santa was still trying to get out. (by @yvesraven

“The blade axles snapped mid air,” said the cop as he unrolled crime scene tape around the bloody snow.

He opened the present. It was a box full of non-drop tree needles and an overdosed puppy. His stomach growled. (by @lonlonranch

The Coca Cola employees sat in lonely homes on Christmas day, forgotten by Santa, in bitter irony.

Her Aunt returned from the dead with a Christmas present. Just another another floral sponge bag. (by @SalnPage

Elf 486505 planted his lips around Elfette 297700’s nipple. “Hold still for the camera,” he mumbled.

"I always hated wrapping presents," her mother said laughing, "I used to just throw it all in bags!" "I know," she said. (by @nijabird) 

"It's time for the snip," said Saint Nick. Rudolph cowered in the corner, his nose dulling to burgundy.

Lo! The Queen did appear on the back of her weary turkey ready to deliver her boy child, Coca Clause before the 3 wise shepherds. (by @lonlonranch

Nigel Farage cut a thick slice of Christmas pudding. The stodgy mix fell open and out dropped a €1 coin.

The physicists found what they were looking for, attending to the midnight mass. (by @guygarrud

The shepherd watched. He watched and waited all night, sure that one day he'd know the sheep's embrace.

With thanks to guygarrud, lonlonranch, nijabird, salnpage and yvesraven.

No comments:

Post a Comment